Childfree New England

here's another good one

2008-08-27T11:06:00.001-07:00

a classic

2008-08-27T10:44:00.000-07:00

A few of you might not have seen this one...

Film at 11: Parenting doesn't make you happier

2008-06-29T23:37:00.000-07:00

Here's a new Newsweek article that has the details of a recent study. Interesting!

RIP George Carlin

2008-06-27T20:08:00.001-07:00

A little hard-edged, as usual...but bravely saying what ought to be said!

"mommy porn"

2008-06-11T15:19:00.000-07:00

From the Brazen Careerist blog:

An excerpt:

When I was growing up, there was lots of chatter in the media about how models gave girls bad role

models. Today that’s old news. What we should talk about now is how the media portrays moms.

Take a look at the spread in People magazine of Jennifer Lopez and her one-month-old twins. The photos are so elegant that at first I thought it was a parody. But in fact, it is mommy porn: the visual fantasy of what being a working mom could be. And it really could be that, if it weren’t that someone like Jennifer Lopez must have a household full of helpers in order to keep her career on track while she has kids: a cook, a trainer, two or three nannies, a cleaner, an assistant, a stylist. And others I’m sure I can’t even imagine.

Here’s another example of mommy porn: Angelina Jolie, and her fifty kids. She has a rule that the nannies (plural, yes, each kid has their own) cannot be photographed holding the kids, because it’s bad for Angelina’s image as a mom. But this is the problem: It looks like these very successful women have it all, even though they don’t.

Founder of Mothers' Day was not a mother...

2008-05-12T19:59:00.000-07:00

Mother's Day celebration reaches 100th anniversary

from The Associated Press

On this 100th anniversary of Mother's Day, the woman credited with creating one of the world's most celebrated holidays probably wouldn't be pleased with all the flowers, candy or gifts.

Anna Jarvis would want us to give mothers a white carnation — she felt it signified the purity of a mother's love.

Jarvis, who never married and never had children, got the Mother's Day idea after her mother said it would be nice if someone created a memorial to mothers.

Three years after her mother died in 1905, she organized the first official mother's day service at a church where her mother had spent more than 20 years teaching Sunday school.

Today, the former Andrews Methodist Episcopal Church is the official shrine to mothers around the world. On Sunday, the shrine will celebrate the 100th anniversary, giving each mother attending a special service a white carnation.

The shrine also serves as a "reminder to the accomplishments of these women and to the issues mothers still deal with today, trying to do the balancing act of being everything to everyone," said Cindi Mason, the shrine's director.

According to the U.S. Census Bureau, there are 83 million mothers in the United States. More mothers now work out of the home and the number of single-mother households has tripled to more than 10 million since 1970.

What has allowed Mother's Day to become celebrated on the second Sunday in May in 52 countries is "everyone has a mother," said Sally Thayer, a trustee of the International Mother's Day Shrine in Grafton. "It's a wonderful thing to celebrate."

Jarvis' devotion to and her fierce defense of Mother's Day could be tied to the feeling that "a certain era was passing and mothers like her mother were becoming fewer," said Laura Prieto, an associate professor of history and women's studies at Simmons College in Boston.

By all accounts, Jarvis' mother Ann was a community activist who worked to heal the divisions in north-central West Virginia following the Civil War, and to promote improved sanitation by creating Mothers Friendship Clubs.

"I would love to be like Mrs. Jarvis," said Olive Dadisman, who operates the Anna Jarvis Birthplace Museum in nearby Webster. "She was a soft-spoken, gentle woman, but she could convince the devil to give up his pitch fork."

West Virginia became the first state to recognize Mother's Day in 1910. President Woodrow Wilson approved a resolution in 1914 marking the second Sunday in May a nationwide observance.

"Mother's Day was meant to be — and still is — a celebration of a nineteenth-century ideal of motherhood, when mothers were supposed to dedicate themselves completely to nurturing their children and making a cozy, safe home," Prieto said.

Yet, Jarvis became increasingly disturbed as the celebration turned into an excuse to sell greeting cards, candy, flowers and other items.

Jarvis became known for scathing letters in which she would berate people who purchased greeting cards, saying they were too lazy to write personal letters "to the woman who has done more for you than anyone in the world."

Before she died in 1948, she protested at a Mother's Day celebration in New York, and was arrested for disturbing the peace.

The National Retail Federation estimates that Americans will spend $15 billion this year honoring their mothers. Dining out is expected to be the No. 1 expense.

In the end, Mason said Jarvis was bitter about what the observance had become and "wished she would have never started the day because it became so out of control ..."

"But when you look at Mother's Day as being her baby of sorts, you can understand her protectiveness of it."

Facebook, anyone?

2007-11-19T11:32:00.000-08:00

Anyone from CF Boston or Heart of New England on Facebook?

If so, please check out the Facebook CF cause:

http://apps.facebook.com/causes/view_cause/25750?h=pln&recruiter_id=6300476

Poll results

2007-11-18T08:04:00.001-08:00

Wow!

An overwhelming number of us were early articulators. Very interesting!

As someone who knd of knew, deep down, that I didn't want children (but who thought I'd have to have them as the "price of admission" for growing up, being married, etc.), I have a huge amount of admiration for those of you who just "always knew".

The poll is located in the right-hand margin now, under "what kind of CFer are you?"

Thanks for voting, everyone!

CF Quote of the day: Katharine Hepburn

2007-09-03T08:44:00.000-07:00

OK, this one isn't overly CF, but Katharine the Great herself sure was...so, in a way, anything she said can be viewed through a CF lens!

"If you obey all the rules, you miss all the fun."

CF quote of the day: Steve Jobs

2007-09-02T08:20:00.000-07:00

"Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma – which is living with the results of other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise of other’s opinions drown out your own inner voice."

A satisfying, productive, happy life

2007-09-02T08:10:00.000-07:00

This is an article about a pioneering female scientist and Harvard professor. She was the best boss I've ever had. She simply kicked butt in every possible way. The fact that she was consciously childfree wasn't something she was extra verbal about (I worked with her in the mid-80s), but it was nonetheless central to the life she shared with her husband (also a researcher and professor).

http://gale.cengage.com/free_resources/chh/bio/villa_l.htm

Responses from a study of CF women

2007-09-01T21:54:00.000-07:00

Dr. Rosemary Lucas conducted a study of childfree women, recently completed. Some quotes frm women who participated:

~~~~~

Rachel, 50: I was the first one of our group… to get engaged, first one to get married, and the expectation would be I was the first one that probably would have children and start working part-time.

I'm the only one now that hasn't out of all of us.

~~~~~

Maria, 35: They tend to assume I can't have them because we've been married ten years, or I will want them eventually.

I let them believe whatever they want to believe. I try not to get into a discussion because they tend to think you're some kind of witch.

~~~~~

Steph, 29: I have vague memories of being six or seven years old, and when you're talking with your friends you're sort of thinking, oh, you know, you'll get married and you'll have two children and one will be a boy and one will be a girl, all that sort of childish thing.

I remember being a bit dubious about that even then, but not being able to understand why.

~~~~~

Source: http://www.gazettelive.co.uk/

CF Quote of the day: Carl Sandburg

2007-08-31T08:23:00.000-07:00

"Time is the coin of your life. It is the only coin you have, and only you can determine how it will be spent. Be careful lest you let other people spend it for you."

CF Quote of the Day: Virginia Wolff

2007-08-27T18:00:00.001-07:00

"The world might be considerably poorer if the great writers had exchanged their books for children of flesh and blood."

from truemomconfessions.com

2007-08-27T09:26:00.000-07:00

This is the kind of thing some moms say when they're guaranteed anonymity. Why, oh why can't we leave people alone and let the only the ones who really WANT parenthood become parents?

"I always knew I wasn't cut out to be a mother. But as I started to get older, I caved in and listened to everyone who said I would regret it and it's totally different when it's "your child" and that motherhood changes everything. It sure does. Of course I love my son, but I want my old life back. It was great the way it was. Now I have to pretend pretend pretend to be this great mom. I feel so guilty and worthless."

Quote of the Day: unknown

2007-08-19T22:12:00.000-07:00

"(Arguing that everyone should become a parent) is like arguing that a branch should only create more branches, instead of leaves, so that there will be more branches to make leaves. Somewhere along the line, there have to be a leaf-makers. Why not us?"

Not to mention the fact that it's only through leaves that the tree is able to *live*, vs. grow (via branch-making)!

From: godlikeproductions.com

Fun Facts to Know and Tell

2007-08-19T18:18:00.000-07:00

Just in case you're feeling a tad lonely...

In 1976, 16 years after the first birth-control pill became available in the United States, 10 percent of women ages 40-44 had never had a child.

By 2002, that number had risen to 18 percent. According to projections, the number probably sits currently at approximately 20%.

According to a 2004 census, 44.6% of women ages 15 to 44 are childless (a good portion of those are childfree, but the poll didn't make a distinction).

We're not alone; we're just not the "target demographic" of advertisers, and hence, of much of the media.

Quote of the Day: anonymous

2007-08-18T17:29:00.001-07:00

"Choosing to have children is like choosing to play the bagpipes: you must do it well or not at all. Anything in between and you'll really annoy your neighbors."

(originally misattributed to a wonderful CF personality but now known to have come from...who knows? Someone possessed of common sense, anyway).

Quote of the Day: Helen Mirren

2007-08-16T08:06:00.000-07:00

"I am thrilled that I don't have children - I have the thing I love, which is freedom. In a funny way, if you don't have children, you can concern yourself more generously with the extended family and let other people have the children. It's a bit of a guilty secret because as a woman, you're almost expected to be sad if you don't have children, but that's bulls**t. There have always been women who don't have kids."

Why Books Are Better Than Babies

2007-08-15T09:45:00.000-07:00

Here are some reasons childfree people can use to explain their lifestyle choices:

A book's natural state is dry.

When you highlight a baby, it washes off.

You can't prop up a crooked table with a baby.

You can't sell them back at the end of the semester.

Your parents aren't always after you to get your first book.

Nobody gets upset when a teenager has a book.

Your books don't want to play with your toys.

You don't have to strap your books in special seats when you travel.

It usually doesn't take nine months to acquire a book.

Nobody looks at you funny when you have a hundred books.

Books can always be shoved in the attic when you're tired of them.

Books arrive fully developed, and you can't be blamed for any plot defects.

My parents are not interested in coming to visit my books.

Books don't wake you up at stupid times of the morning demanding to be fed, amused, or changed.

Books don't throw a temper tantrum if you pay more attention to another book or you have things you'd rather be doing than reading it right now.

You can take a book into a fine restaurant and know it will remain quiet and well-behaved.

You don't have to get a babysitter for a book if you want to go out.

Books don't point and ask embarassing questions in public.

Books not only ask questions, they also provide answers.

Books don't want to watch "Barney." In fact, they are best enjoyed with the TV off.

Books do not have recurring costs, like clothing, food, and diapers.

You can't mail a baby to a friend you want to share it with.

Books don't need to be toilet trained.

You can leave books in a box for months and they will be okay.

Books smell better than babies.

Books don't wear expensive covers from The Gap.

Books already contain all the world's recorded knowledge -- you don't have to pay to send them to school.

Books don't lose their lunch in your lap.

You can carry your book in your back pocket and it won't complain.

You can take a book to work and no one will complain.

Books don't try to run away from you when you put them down.

You can't switch from mystery babies to sci-fi babies to romance babies when you're looking for variety.

Babies don't appreciate those itty bitty book lights shined on their faces.

You can't skip ahead and read the last chapter of a baby's life to get to the good parts or to see if you like how it turns out.

When books have a sequel, you're happy about it.

You can take a book to the dentist/doctor/optometrist, and it won't cost you anything.

Books won't wreck your computer equipment, or spill milk and cookies on the keyboard.

A book always rides for free on transit, no matter how old it is.

Nobody wants to censor the Internet "for the good of the books."

Smokers can smoke around their books.

Books never tell you at 10 p.m. that there is a bake sale tomorrow and they promised they'd bring a Black Forest cake.

You never have to make a Halloween costume for your book.

Families never argue about what church the book will go to.

Books never outgrow their jackets.

You never get a call at work saying that your book just threw up at daycare and could you please come take it home?

People don't keep asking you to coo over pictures of their books.

There isn't one documented case of a book throwing a screaming tantrum on the floor in the middle of an aisle in a Wal-Mart.

You don't have to buy a minivan because you bought a book.

People don't go into gross detail describing how they acquired a book.

Imagine if the government gave a $500.00 tax credit per book.

You like to take them into the bathroom with you!

There's a place where you can try different books to see which ones you like.

A book can be left in the car on a hot summer's day with the windows rolled up.

You can never have too many books.

from: Accounting.net

Quote of the Day: Democritus

2007-08-14T20:19:00.000-07:00

"Men and women are like other living creatures: they bring children into the world with little or no thought about the matter and then they suffer and toil as best as they can to rear them. Men and women think that it is necessary to have children. It is not. It is their animal nature and social custom, rather than reason, which makes them believe that this is a necessity. Don't have children; they bring much trouble, toil, and sorrow. What few advantages there are to having children rarely outweigh the disadvantages."